At seventeen, during my senior year of high school, I invited my two best friends to a sleepover in our camper trailer. We spent the night like most teenagers—eating snacks, swigging Cokes, and laughing about our teachers. Our English teacher, Mrs. Appy, was a frequent source of amusement because she never seemed to notice when we slipped out of class.
My friends—whom I’ll call Ruby and Colleen—grew bored around 2 a.m. Colleen suggested we visit the all-night gas station where her boyfriend worked. We agreed and climbed into my white station wagon, which I had received at sixteen.
Since I didn’t know the location, Colleen drove. As we neared the station in a nearby town, flashing red lights appeared behind us. A police officer pulled us over for a broken taillight. After checking Colleen’s license, he asked who owned the car. She pointed to me, and I explained that the car was registered in my stepmother’s name. Before I could clarify further, the officer ordered us out, placed us in his cruiser, and took us to the police station, suspecting we had stolen the car.
At the station, I was put in a holding cell while my friends were taken elsewhere. Within an hour, their mothers arrived and took them home, leaving me behind. My father didn’t come until morning.
When he finally arrived around 8 a.m., he said nothing. As we left, the officer admitted I had been telling the truth. The car had been impounded, and my father had to pay $18 to retrieve it.
During the drive home, my father remained silent. Once we arrived, he turned to me and said, “Only hookers drive around at 2 a.m.”
He never asked what happened or why we went out. Like the officer, he judged me without understanding the situation.
That experience taught me how quickly people judge without knowing the whole story. People living with anxiety or depression often hide their pain for fear of being labeled “crazy.” Since then, I have tried to meet others with empathy and understanding, no matter their circumstances or struggles. We all deserve that kind of grace.
And, I’m in complete agreement with Mother Teresa who said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”